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 People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds;
it is something one creates.
Thomas Szasz
Don't Tell Anyone, But...
  1. Brother Tom will keep his distance.
  2. Brother Tom found his garden by accident.
  3. Brother Tom has many friends in China.
  4. Brother Tom was stolen by gypsies at an early age and never returned.
  5. Brother Tom has his own quiet ways.
  6. Brother Tom regrets the waste of time.
  7. Brother Tom will yell at you if you displease him.
  8. Brother Tom has read none of these books.
  9. Brother Tom re-invents himself every morning.
  10. Brother Tom enjoys loud, unpredictable people.
  11. Brother Tom never intended to grow up.
  12. Brother Tom is sorry for having disappointed you.
  13. Brother Tom once kissed a girl.
  14. Brother Tom once killed a man.
  15. Brother Tom puts happy conversation on the front porch.
  16. Brother Tom puts desire in the backyard.
  17. Brother Tom will pray for you this evening.
  18. Brother Tom will listen to your poetry.
  19. Brother Tom is falling down a lot lately.
  20. Brother Tom forgets on purpose.
  21. Brother Tom doesn't really want to be famous.
  22. Brother Tom sees himself working very hard on a farm.
  23. Brother Tom has a long lazy streak in his closet.
  24. Brother Tom eats fat-free cheese sandwiches and chocolate for lunch.
  25. Brother Tom does not eat mammals.
  26. Brother Tom worries about breaking his grandfather's watch.
  27. Brother Tom has always been a liar.
  28. Brother Tom forgives the bullies, but he will not forget.
  29. Brother Tom sees God and hears God and talks to God every day.
  30. Brother Tom wears earplugs to concerts.
  31. Brother Tom is not the child of disobedient children.
  32. Brother Tom, on getting a bigger computer, feels guilty and blessed.
  33. Brother Tom never wanted to own a car.
  34. Brother Tom is a son, an uncle, and a brother.
  35. Brother Tom is nobody's father and never will be.
  36. Brother Tom thinks Texas is just fine.
  37. Brother Tom smiles and gets sad when he thinks of some people.
  38. Brother Tom prefers loose-fitting clothes.
  39. Brother Tom has never been as handsome as some people think.
  40. Brother Tom has stayed home and missed the famous poet.
  41. Brother Tom knows nothing about the stock market.
  42. Brother Tom believes in tiny changes.
  43. Brother Tom danced wildly in his middle age
  44. Brother Tom is interested in the light surrounding flowers.
  45. Brother Tom has never encouraged malevolence.
  46. Brother Tom is still looking for love.
  47. Brother Tom once buried a thousand poppy seeds beneath a black stone.
  48. Brother Tom seems to be falling through space.
  49. Brother Tom expects more from his students than from himself.
  50. Brother Tom steals the Sunday papers.
  51. Brother Tom twists on a rope of words.
  52. Brother Tom is still the star of the show.
  53. Brother Tom melts and yelps into the evening shadows
  54. Brother Tom envies the junk drawer in your kitchen.
  55. Brother Tom was once an elevator man.
  56. Brother Tom aches at the cruelty of others.
  57. Brother Tom is waiting for the best part.
  58. Brother Tom never thinks about some of his family members.
  59. Brother Tom falls in love two or three times a day.
  60. Brother Tom likes poetry from the streets.
  61. Brother Tom never goes to the bathroom.
  62. Brother Tom is kickboxing champion of his neighborhood.
  63. Brother Tom prefers clothing that does not advertise.
  64. Brother Tom was once just a confused kid, a bored kid, a creep.
  65. Brother Tom has never seen the real Mexico.
  66. Brother Tom leaves the time-tap running.
  67. Brother Tom will rub your face in The Familiar
  68. Brother Tom wears a tie for a reason.
  69. Brother Tom gets headaches for no good reason at all.
  70. Brother Tom gets a kick out of sunset nasturtiums.
  71. Brother Tom is impatient for the mail.
  72. Brother Tom wants to be more generous.
  73. Brother Tom is more than half-way done.
  74. Brother Tom thinks that fear has never been a useful emotion.
  75. Brother Tom embarasses his nephew.
  76. Brother Tom picked up his dread at an early age.
  77. Brother Tom recognizes opportunities that will not come again.
  78. Brother Tom only has opinions so you can change his mind.
  79. Brother Tom prefers the smell of brand new books.
  80. Brother Tom will cook a nice Italian dinner for you some day.
  81. Brother Tom shaves his head once a week.
  82. Brother Tom has never met a famous person.
  83. Brother Tom pretends he has a little trouble.
  84. Brother Tom needs more exercise and fewer chocolate fudge cookies.
  85. Brother Tom might have bad breath.
  86. Brother Tom pretends to like some people who bug him.
  87. Brother Tom loves his crazy brothers and sisters best.
  88. Brother Tom carries a black stone and a white stone in his heart.
  89. Brother Tom is an orphan in the storm.
  90. Brother Tom makes lists of everything in his dreams.
  91. Brother Tom hardly ever gets sick enough to puke.
  92. Brother Tom cannot do fifteen pushups in a row.
  93. Brother Tom wishes someone had taught him math sooner.
  94. Brother Tom can't decide if he's a mountaingoat or an alleycat.
  95. Brother Tom has embarassed himself a few times.
  96. Brother Tom has written everything.
  97. Brother Tom thinks the world should come to him.
  98. Brother Tom knows step aerobics are out of fashion.
  99. Brother Tom expects large packages in the mail.
  100. Brother Tom once sought advice from a professional.
  101. Brother Tom is the actual love-child of Buster Keaton and Billie Holiday.
  102. Brother Tom loves his feet.
  103. Brother Tom appreciates windows and doors.
  104. Brother Tom will never answer the phone.
  105. Brother Tom has wasted another evening.
  106. Brother Tom cannot remember your first name.
  107. Brother Tom thinks street-level life needs a comeback.
  108. Brother Tom is indebted to all these machines.
  109. Brother Tom laughs in the face of his hypochondria.
  110. Brother Tom wishes he had been born in a small French village.
  111. Brother Tom prefers no one season over the others.
  112. Brother Tom has no opinion about the trial of the century.
  113. Brother Tom would like you to get a haircut.
  114. Brother Tom fears long and short trips through the clouds.
  115. Brother Tom would rather not cut his fingernails.
  116. Brother Tom will pay for all this happiness sooner or later.
  117. Brother Tom has known a few old Italian people.
  118. Brother Tom sometimes forgets his mother's birthday.
  119. Brother Tom has never wanted to buy new clothes.
  120. Brother Tom lives in a barge on the Orinoco River.
  121. Brother Tom dreams of dead men and mashed potatoes.
  122. Brother Tom is impatient with religion.
  123. Brother Tom knows a very silent place but can't always get there.
  124. Brother Tom has more books than thoughts.
  125. Brother Tom has a phantom cat.
  126. Brother Tom has not yet prepared his living will.
  127. Brother Tom will show up in the evening without his pencils.
  128. Brother Tom sometimes forgets where he is on the street.
  129. Brother Tom exhibits some obsessive-compulsive behaviors.
  130. Brother Tom doesn't need anybody to yell at him.
  131. Brother Tom ate way too many cheeseburgers as a child.
  132. Brother Tom believes in the tragic weight of youth.
  133. Brother Tom has misplaced all his cousins.
  134. Brother Tom once licked a mountain.
  135. Brother Tom wishes you all would just tuck in your shirts.
  136. Brother Tom once believed that the dentist was not his friend.
  137. Brother Tom stands on his hands to get started in the morning.
  138. Brother Tom rides an inner bicycle with a loose chain and training wheels.
  139. Brother Tom has often shut up and gone away.
  140. Brother Tom was Gertrude Stein in a previous life.
  141. Brother Tom closes his classroom doors whenever he wants to talk about "stuff."
  142. Brother Tom thinks you are more complicated than a car commercial.
  143. Brother Tom plays a drum...a big deep talking drum....out in the woods at night.
  144. Brother Tom exhibits an unhealthy fascination with The Grid.
  145. Brother Tom lives in his classroom.
  146. Brother Tom, according to Washington Irving, once took a walk into the deep woods and talked to the Devil.
  147. Brother Tom was once known as "sarx".
  148. Brother Tom is always plotting something behind his evil grin.
  149. Brother Tom eats students for breakfast.
  150. Brother Tom is in the witness protection program hiding from the mob.
  151. Brother Tom once spent 15 years in prison for...
  152. Brother Tom wears the same green pants every day.
  153. Brother Tom once went over Niagara Falls in nothing but a barrel.

If you have heard any good rumors about Brother Tom, please share them via e-mail.
Please keep the bad rumors to yourself.

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