cutting back roses not caring about the thin red scratches going redder all over my fingers and knuckles. liking it actually. the irregular bloody lines like rivers on a map. the tiny pain. work being done out here in the flower beds. no time for sissyman worries about ouches or germs or...

that was saturday afternoon. earlier that morning and later that day i would read Kit's Wilderness by david almond. and you should read it. soon. go get it. i finished it tonight. a so-called kids book, but a good book is always a good book for anyone lucky enough to find it and read it. this is the kind of book you would like. i can say this because i know you so well. read this book.

sunday we had the annual memorial mass for members of the carmel community. a calm, pretty ceremony of remembrance. at one point, maybe after the homily, a senior read the names of the dead and a single handbell was rung for each. i didn't recognize any of them, but after only two and a half years here I do know a few (wish i didn't) - they just weren't read.

yesterday afternoon jay and i went out to a movie. Shallow Hal by the farrellys. better than i expected, not as much of a gross out. with a pretty good (obvious) message for all of us.

in class i'm coming to the ends of things. end of macbeth. end of poe (again). end of hawthorne. end of lear (but beginning of tempest). and we only have two more days this week - both shortened - then thanksgiving. i guess it has been settled that i will drive to mary therese's in joliet instead of to petersburg. this is fine with me - to avoid long hours in the car - but i hope mom and meg REALLY don't mind driving the three hours up. they continually spoil me.

today in the midst of discussion with sophomores about "the minister's black veil" one student felt that i had shot her down after she said something - i don't remember what either of us said. she said something like "well that's the last time i ever say something in here" (half joking?) and i said something like "do you feel like i just shot you down?" i didn't mean to. it's not my style, but i admit that my enthusiasm sometimes gets the better of me. i become more assertive than i need to be. and this can be misread. and is. oh well. i say something like "don't put up with that from me. come back at me. don't back down." but i don't know if that helps. oh well.... of the two times this has happened (as far as i know) this year, it has been a girl's response. if boys feel it, they don't seem to show it. oh... well...

"This is our world," he used to say. "Aye, there's more than enough of darkness in it. But over everything there's all this joy, Kit. There's all this lovely lovely light."

David Almond