11.15 modes  

is it not a thousand ways to pin the butterfly to the wall? is it not a million found in one? dance it around and scribble it out. let yr fingers rumble yr brains jumble yr multiple articulations stumble into the next big thing....

i mean....

we've been doing some different things. in class. i'm not convinced they're necessarily better than the usual things.... but i'm a desperate man.... don't mess with my intentions... i like that first quick pungent whiff of crayola as much as the next guy... but.... well, it's hard to say how it all works out or what it ends up meaning.... in the end. i'm talking about these projects, this work, this path i've set them on this week.

back on tuesday i'd just vaguely insinuated myself toward a discussion of some mid-19th century romantic poems when i was charged with fomenting A LECTURE....

what - me? lecture? impossible.. and one kid even took my part, said he's not lecturing he's.... what? i helped out: promoting conversation about these here lovely pomes? well...

....they weren't having it... so i grabbed a couple or four kids and stood them in the middle of the room. told them to read this poem out loud. you read this line and then you come in and you two girls sit down and you guys stand there like this and read yr parts "the tide rises; the tide falls..." we worked some variations for awhile and just before the bell i assigned a mess of poems to be read for the next day, saying (or thinking i was saying): you'll have to pick one of these to perform, so read carefully and choose wisely. and so.... they've had most of the week to practice and plot and pretend towards a group performance of their poem. tried some today.... with mixed results. more on monday....

they want to do different and be different and NOT BE BORED.... but they don't want to embarrass themselves. cool is conforming. cool is rebelling. adolescent inertia is as complex a matter as this earth has to offer. such confusion. i understand. i was a kid just the other day.... so.... encouragement all around.... hoping for the best....

and other classes are working (mostly) on poetry comix... more psychic limits to push there, too. clichés to kill.... it's not about being able to draw.... more about being able to live.... real creativity or imagination is risky stuff and they know it (on some level) and fear it - and so do i.... see that first sentence up there.... came out of nowhere.... took a minor act of will to let it stand... whatthehell.... all good stuff needs a certain whatthehell to kick it up to life.... into the range of the possible. we all just need a safe place. a classroom can sometimes be a safer place... but is almost never safe enough.... for real things (contingent on the risk) to happen.... a safe place and an impulse....

this journal is my more or less safe place.... not so safe as a paper notebook.... not so safe as this room.... wherein i may suddenly jump up and spaz out like a minor rock star for a moment.... a bit of air guitar so sudden i surprise myself... and amaze the old cat. i miss pavement.

most kids learn and know very early that school is no place for risky business. learn the drill. know the drill. love the drill. the drill is life.... but... no.... let us all retire to our rooms.... and consider closely our more frightening possibilities.

i woke up this morning thinking about guerilla poetry.... hit and run performance squads.... a poem dances down the lounge.... a poem coalesces momentarily in the crossroads.... a poem pops up for lunch... and just as quickly dissolves back into the ordinary business of the day...


My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.

Ursula K. Le Guin

talk to me

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