12.20 pig  

how much chocolate can the human body process in a twenty-four hour period? how about my body? nevermind. i'm not going to tell you how much chocolate i have eaten lately. it's too embarassing...

and i have no right to be eating chocolate because i have not been a good end-of-semester teacher. i have not yet processed those essays... or those tests. i have only just now finished counting the sophomore message board posts... but the senior posts wait up ahead. still....

for some reason everyone is giving me chocolate... in a variety of forms... and i am eating it... sharing only a little... well... a little more than a little... like that humongo bar of hershey's - of which i ate only two or three sections... alright, four. it vanished within the hour. just as well. good riddance. but there's this mug full of pretty tin-wrapped dove chocolate chunks that i'm sharing with nobody. it's all mine... so how much chocolate can the human body process in a twenty-four hour period?

elsewhere. beth is just about done with iraq. i think they leave today. she was featured in a reuters photograph, praying. the caption read

U.S. Christians attend a special prayer meeting with Iraqis at Saint Joseph's Chaldean Church in Baghdad December 18, 2002. U.S. delegations of 12 religious leaders attended a mass with leaders of Iraq's Christian community, including the Chaldean and Latin Bishops, to call for peace and urge the Bush administration to reverse its war preparations.

fat chance.

and i have no right to be eating chocolate because there's a war and starving people and injustice everywhere... and i mean everywhere... nothing is right and the world is a rotten mess...and here i sit eating chocolate... wondering about the early signs of a chocolate-induced coma... worrying about genetically modified corn.... wishing i had all that paper processed.... sad that there are folks without homes living out of funky old cars... and it's all my fault because i can't get this chocolate monkey off my back... and there are folks with no regular dental care... me, i just call for an appointment when i get a little ache and whammo there i am in the chair with a masked friendly face checking it out and changing my bite with a few quick whirrs of the drill... no it wasn't a chocolate-induced cavity. i don't get cavities anymore. because i brush. and because i brush stupidly i get gum recession accompanied by glorious technicolor hot and cold sensitivity that not even good old sensodyne can fix... but a bite realignment just might do the trick... seems to at any rate... for the moment... as if it matters... because I DESERVE THE PAIN for being such a chocolate pig in the middle of a bleeding suffering world... amen.


"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes-and ships-and sealing wax-
Of cabbages-and kings-
And why the sea is boiling hot-
And whether pigs have wings."

Lewis Carroll

talk to me

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