12.28 voices  

the pet psychic and william faulkner's tales live in a world we desire. call it a parallel universe of sorts. it's easy to mock this funny lady who claims to read the minds of beasts.... and speaks to them. she certainly deserves it.... and yet.... she does have her own television show.... these are the dreams we dream in public.... are her fictions any worse than faulkner's? (i'm re-reading As I Lay Dying.... since the seniors have to)

i was talking to the cat just now.... but she was not talking back. and earlier i was reading this novel, which means that i had invited these voices into my head. i was watching a movie while i was eating my soup. the movie was about a young man who kills people quickly and gently by poison. he was telling his own tale. he never gets caught. and now he's in here too.

i was thinking how quiet it is here. all day i've spoken maybe twenty words... to bob who's in and out... and to the cat who does not care. but i've had voices in my head.... all these words from the screen, from between the covers of books, newspapers. can anyone say i've been alone today? alone with my thoughts... and with these voices?

i do not always move my lips when i read... but sometimes i do. today. because faulkner makes me crazy, takes me so far into the thinking of darl and dewey dell, vardaman and anse bundren, that i've got to say their words to make sense of them... say them just a little in my mind with my lips.... until...

finally i have to stop reading.... just write and wonder why some of us need these fictions.... and is it a healthy thing. healthy enough, i guess.

then to get away from words this afternoon i wandered around this big empty house. i found this

and this

and this

circle.... zero.... open mouth.... single eye.... maybe.

and i found a pair of doors i will not be needing for a little while.... maybe:

i am playing with my christmas present. now i'm thinking that (for awhile) i will show you some of the things and places of my world.... but none of the people. the people are too complicated.... too busy inside their own dreams.... just as i am busy enough inside mine.

besides, you never know what you are looking at when you are looking at the photograph of a person.


And I heard a voice from heaven, as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of a great thunder: and I heard the voice of harpers harping with their harps.

Revelation 14:2

talk to me

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