9.29 retreat  

sit for three and half days in a room with forty senior boys... just sit and watch and listen. if you could watch and listen well (which i don't claim to be able to do), you would probably learn some amazing things... things about "kids these days" and a timeless process, things about being hurt and hurting, things about losing and winning, about resilience and resentment, mistakes and intentions, things about feeling no good and trying to be better, about being lonely and being connected... mostly, in one way or another, things about love... and... god who is love.

my talk to the group this year felt eerily disordered, vague, inconclusive... no work of art... my own damn fault... a mess... and yet... it seems to have mattered to some... this, in itself, is solid enough proof of the existence of god... if that talk touched someone it was absolutely none of my doing. something else was going on... mysterious as a thick black stone the size of a fist... giving birth to a bright soft limestone egg... giving birth to...

mr. wendell berry of kentucky writes that "a community ... has to do first of all with belonging; it is a group of people who belong to one another and to their place." i don't have to distort too much to apply this definition of community to carmel high school at its best, which is carmel high school touched by kairos. institutional voices, especially the recruiting and development offices, love to use this rhetoric of community, of family, because it sheds some golden light over the place. but it's also as much - or more - of a true thing as a hope or advertising strategy. seems to me that kairos helps us to notice how we belong to each other and this place... and it's only the belonging that matters...

still... i know there are kids - too many - walking the halls and sitting in classes who feel utterly alone and unclaimed... angry and sad...

moon dust


You do not have to walk in darkness.

Wendell Berry

talk to me

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