we were working a bit on writing in sophomore honors today. they had had to bring in a first draft of a piece on frederick douglass' narrative. we had crafted introductory paragraphs - leading up to a thesis statement - a couple days ago. so their assignment for today was to put a body on it. i knew then that today we would have to look at conclusions.

so i was in the middle of trying to explain how most concluding paragraphs that you get in high school writing are very painful deadly things that follow from the old prescription ("tell 'em what yr gonna tell 'em, tell 'em, then tell 'em what you told 'em"). i was saying, "these pieces end with a thud, but we want to end with a -- what's the opposite of a thud?" a few suggestions flew up from the crowd. i elaborated on one and came up with a "whoosh"... a conclusion that sweeps the reader out from the concerns of the paper back into his or her own world... whoosh.

from then on i had students coming to me, papers in hand, saying things like, "i'm afraid i've got a thud, but maybe it's leaning towards a whoosh... will you read this?" and i was happy, in many cases, to report that a whoosh - a definite whoosh - had been achieved. some conclusions were, in fact, awash in whooshosity.

ah... well... this was an odd, interesting week for e-mail... on a number of fronts.

when i opened my school account on monday, after two weeks of christmas extravagance, i found exactly 1,567 pieces of correspondence. granted, some (maybe fifty) were from my adbooks listserv. of course, i couldn't just delete blindly because somewhere in there might lie important communiques from students, parents, adminstrators, or pals. as it happened, a grand total of two were actual school-related messages. the vast bulk consisted of

NO MORE JUNK MAIL!!!

AUTO LOANS for people with bad credit...

Attract the Opposite Sex Instantly!

You can copy DVDs...

AUCTION ENDS in a hour! (yes, a hour)

You're APPROVED... (finally, at long last)

FREE! Famous Blue Pain Reliever...

TOP-NOTCH Attorneys for Pennies...

Elizabeth, you too can... (alas, this reminds me of the original mistake)

...and the amazing ubiquitous eternally salacious

INCREASE YOUR (fill in favorite tiny body part) SIZE!!!

and, of course, the increasingly obscene and downright gross porn ads...

there is no end to it... short of simply walking away from the whole thing. at the end of business today, my trash can had two days' worth of this crap: 602 VERY IMPORTANT!! messages.

but this week there was good e-mail, too.

• a pleasant note from a friend of my brother, saying nice things about brtom.org
• a fellow who had just read berry's Life is A Miracle, looking for some conversation (funny, he never answered my reply)
• a guy who found my old journals at geocities (geesh, i can't even get in there any more) and found them to be "simple and honest" (thanks)
• a colleague's anguished meditations on procrastination (which made me feel much better about my chronic problems in that area)
• a plea from a canadian teacher for a copy of an article i'd assigned the apes last quarter (successfully attached, sent, and opened... after two tries... always happy to help if i can)
• a note from another brother informing me of one dog's envy of another dog's web debut

now it's friday night. i'm listening to the clash... remembering good times with the late joe strummer... "Pressure Drop" from Super Black Market Clash... jump up spin around "oh yea--aa--aah"... do a little step...

it's getting cold around here.. is it getting cold around there?

whoosh....

Sometimes we are inclined to class those who are once-and-a-half witted with the half-witted, because we appreciate only a third part of their wit.

Henry David Thoreau

 

talk to me

brtom.org