This
Journal

December
1999

11. Busy Busy

Busy busy busy. You busy, too? Yeah, I figured you were. Why does it get like this? Is there some God of Stress over yonder who gets his jollies by watching us all crack up in this 57 car collision we call End of Semester? I guess so...either that or just poor planning on our part. Let's not even talk about Christmas shopping. In fact, I've been so busy that I didn't even realize that yesterday was Emily Dickinson's birthday despite the fact that every message on the Dickinson list serve mentioned it. They were all talking about December 10. I said to myself, "Gee, too bad I missed it."

Well, today my busy-ness took the form of reading Response Notebooks and doing a favor for a friend. (If you are that friend and you are reading this, don't feel guilty. I am happy happy happy to do whatever I can. Really. It's possible that your request was the one thing that forced me to get down to busy-ness today and procrastinate no longer. Thank you. I accomplished some good stuff today.)

One good thing about busy-ness is that it doesn't leave much time for one to ponder the deeper, darker, more complex issues of the day like Who Am I? Where Am I? Why Am I Here? What Must I Do About....? Why Do I Feel So....? There will be plenty of time for those morose considerations soon enough. What else are vacations for? No, right now I'm consumed with the Big Mystery of what goes on in the mind of a freshman who turns in a notebook that looks like something drug out of a stinkin backalley after a month of hard weather and harder traffic.

"But hey," you say, "if you're so busy, what are you doing here in This Journal?" I can only plead for mercy. It has been a long day, and I have been a pretty good boy. Cut me some slack, Jack. Gimme some room, Gloom. Besides, I haven't been on This Journal for awhile, and I fear the loss of Audience. Who would I be without that vast, invisible horde of silent eyes which is yourself?

I have begun a book on shame that my brother mentioned in a note awhile ago. (Though, if you're wondering, I didn't have time to read it today because I was just too damn BUSY.) The authors say that shame is both innate and learned, a psycho-biological response and a culturally determined behavior. I'm feeling shame right now for taking up all of this valuable cyber-space. I'm feeling shame because for everything that I have done there is much more that I should do. But I'll get over it.

Yesterday, while I was busy missing Miss Emily's birthday, I was introducing my freshmen to Buster Keaton. They knew Busta Rhymes; they knew Chaplin, but not The Great Stone Face. I showed them The Electric House, The Boat, and bits of other shorts. Some of the students seemed quite happy - even delighted - with this discovery; others were distraught with black, white, and No Sound with fakey special effects. "You've gotta be kidding, Br. Tom." They didn't know it, but I was rewarding them for being not-so-bad-all-things- considered-this-quarter. And they got to peek into Keaton's perfect universe where life-savers vanish beneath the waves and anchors float.

{Smartypants}

Our business in this world is not to succeed, but to continue to fail, in good spirits.
Robert Louis Stevenson

How's it going for you?

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