This
Journal

December
1999

20. This Will Load Slowly

Lest you, whoever you are, worry that I've given up on This Journal, here's a short piece.

Since a journal is at its roots a daily thing (my old French dictionary gives it as "1.journal; 2. diary; 3. newspaper, paper; 4. com. daybook" - you get the picture), you have every right to expect a daily appearance - and I have every need to write one. I've learned that this electrical-surface is not the same as paper, cannot be so quickly scribbled and hidden. It's mode is publication, revelation. Sometimes there are occurrences and feelings that we don't publish. Everybody knows that. So it's a pleasant fiction that this space really is my closet.

Well, it's My Closet, but it's not my closet. We can watch, but none of us can touch this space, not really. It can't be held in the hand the way I hold my old French dictionary. I picked it up for two bucks at Colleen's Books on Telephone Road, Houston. I like the heft of it, the brown of it. It's fragile with age, but still a solid thing and came in handy for awhile when I was trying some translation from Rimbaud, because the date is just about right, 1891. Previously owned by one Hardin Craig of Princeton, New Jersey. (I believe he was on the faculty there.) It's got a funky bronze glow, a book still lively and useful after a hundred years of use. No doubt, like any book, it has spent the better part of its time on the shelf. But for as long as I've had it, I've been glad - and even comforted - to have had it, one of those anchors.

{Smartypants}

The acceptance that all that is solid has melted into the air, that reality and morality are not givens but imperfect human constructs, is the point from which fiction begins.
Salman Rushdie

What good, solid thing did you encounter today?

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