This Journal

8.17.99 - Tuesday

OK. This is all very nice, but I WANT TO TEACH.

Thus, I express my heartfelt weariness with this Limbo of meetings and meetings and forms and forms. I lack patience.

But I have an official mentor. He's almost half my age, but that shouldn't matter. He knows more than I do. He got me set up with voice mail this afternoon and showed me a few things on the computer. He gave what sounds like good advice about corridor navigation. I showed him this Closet, which he may be reading right now, or later. Hi, Brian.

I have unofficial mentors also. Dominic (also significantly younger than I) has been exceptionally attentive to my needs and fears. Diane, my Solid Gold Department Chair is a fountain of support and helpfulness. Jay knows some stuff, too. So if I end up in a disgusting puddle of failure here, it won't be nobody's fault but mine.

Back in Joliet, freshmen got "mentors". I suppose it's fitting for me. That's how I feel. And I must keep suppressing this urge to scream and yell about the injustice of my condition. A single dose of "Shut up; you know you needed something new" usually brings me to my senses. But I do worry that I might fall back into a bizarre string of passive-aggressive whineries. (I hate that p-a thing in me; maybe that's why I find it so much in others.)

Well, one more day of limbo tomorrow when the freshmen come in for a preview. I get three sections of them for ten minutes apiece. I guess I'll get through that. I should get over there early in the morning to set up the desks. They're still in a horrid rectangle.

I understand that JCA's jounalism crowd is off in the wild woods of Wisconsin. I pick up a good vibe about their paper from some corners. Hope they and their moderator are surviving up there. I'm missing some of their presences in Chronic Relations and on the IMs.

But I've promised myself not to think too long about what's happening back there...it's the only antidote for my gray willies. Still, I'll be down there this weekend for a couple of celebrations.